I have a crying hangover.
The world is still and grey today. Not a breath of wind to stir across the lake. I woke up sad, with music in my head and a to-do list nagging at me. Time is passing. I don't usually notice it much but right now it's weighing heavily. I wonder how it is possible to feel old and ageless at the same time. How I can still feel so much while at the same time I feel empty.
I find I am filled with sorrow and melancholy but this is not new, this is on going and ever present. It's a question that I often get asked, "why are you so sad?". I have no real answer but it's there all the time though some days I notice its presence less.
It's the cousin to the litter of anxieties I live with daily. The parcel of nagging voices telling me all the terrible things. How can one person be full of so much doubt? So much worry? So much sadness.
But today, well today i am just tired from inside out.