Wednesday, 23 March 2011

C-day has arrived.

Day 0: Last of the bowel prep done. Harder to do than yesterday mainly because at 7 am I don't like to eat anything let alone drink a litre of stuff that tastes a bit like overly sweetened salty grapefruit juice with a hint of artificial lemon. Ugh. Even the do it your self enema was not so difficult. Not sure if I got it right and to be honest I don't really give a .... . Let's put it ths way liquid went in ... liquid came out. Which incidentally is the same procedure as the prep. I guess on the whole my guts weren't quite as clogged up as I had imagined them to be. And all in all the entire procedure was not as bad as I had thought. The worst part really was my overly active imagination ad the first few glasses of  the Moviprep mixture which sits for about 20 minutes in the stomach like a bowling ball. I felt suddenly very full very fast and then whooosh suddenly I wasn't feeling full any more. So it was doing what it was supposed to do.

We leave the house in 40 minutes to head out to the clinic in L├╝beck. After that who knows and since I hope to be asleep for the actual procedure it's all a mystery from there on in.

I'm nervous but not nearly as wound up as I was a week ago. Though I am willing to bet at the clinic if they read my BP my heart rate will be through the roof, I am well known for that. I have a normal resting heart rate of around 75 at the doc's it usually shoots up to well over 100. You can tell I feel safe, secure and happy visiting any doctor on this planet, even the ones I like and trust.   None of this so far was as terrible as I had imagined it to be. There were no massively painful cramps, I didn't vomit and actual time spent sitting on the pot was less than 2 hours. Right now I'm a bit shaky but that's more from lack of food and nerves than anything else.

One of the more surprising side effects form this though is I stink. My whole body is letting of the slightly rotten fermented fruit smell. Weird right? Probably the aspartame and the whole "cleanse" thing. Get rid of the toxins... uh huh. What ever it is I hope it goes away sooner rather than later it's unpleasant for me to be around me. Oh and I'm all bloated. It's ikky but nothing I don't deal with on a regular basis. Oh and the very sweet saliva that my body suddenly produces which tastes a lot like the aftertaste one gets from drinking diet pop ( which i don't do because I hate the aftertaste). Still all in all not the end of the world explosive disaster I was half expecting.

So here I am getting ready to bug out and get probed. Yes I grin as I write this. The whole thing has a somewhat funny slant to it and I guess it's good I see the humour. I'll see even more afterwards if I get the all clear. So keep your fingers crossed.

Oh and borborygmus, I has that in spades...there's a symphony going on in my guts today. 


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tales from the dark side...